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Lady Party

Updated: Mar 15

By: Dr. Tiffany Darby

feminine care is an act of self-love

This week I want to take some time to discuss something that I think we as women don’t

talk enough about, the vagina. For some reason, we believe that it’s a taboo topic or

one that we are embarrassed to talk about. I think there are several reasons why this

occurs, and we will discuss some of that in this post. I also want to consider how it

impacts our intimate relationships and sometimes our self-confidence. I will also

make some recommendations that I’ve personally engaged in or some of my

closet friends have experienced. Ok, let’s get into it...

Education. As a community, many Black families struggle with discussing sex education. People stay away from the topic altogether or discuss surface topics such as body parts. Rarely have I heard that someone had an in-depth conversation about sex, let alone the vagina specifically.

It's my vagina notebook

Self-confidence. This can often be tied to our vagina. Many of us are told to get

married and have children as if that’s the only thing to life. Many women are unable to bear children or, I know this will sound surprising for some, some women don’t WANT to have children. To some, when a woman does/doesn’t have children, she is perceived by others differently either way. Being or not being a mother doesn’t define you!

Feminine conditions. Some of us struggle with a variety of things (i.e., cancer, fibroids, etc.). I was recently diagnosed with a condition called Adenomyosis. In summary, it is a thickening of the uterine wall, which causes severe cramping and a heavy cycle flow. It’s terrible, to say the least! The doctor has recommended a partial hysterectomy.

At first, I felt some kind of a way because the thought of giving up my reproductive organ caused a myriad of emotions. Now granted, I don’t want any more children, so it’s not that, it was just the thought that the option will be gone. I’m on board with it now, as my partial hysterectomy is scheduled for November. It was tough initially because it felt like I was giving up my choice, but the thought of getting rid of this pain is now superseding everything else!

Recommendations. My girlfriends and I discuss vagina related things from time to time. As we are getting older, we are noticing a lot. First off, these grey hairs keep sporadically popping up; no one warned us; honey, lol! We also have discussed some things that have helped in other areas. I’m not a gynecologist, so anything recommended, please do your research and/or consult with a medical doctor. Here are a few vaginal things, steaming, waxing, vitamins (love them), and peroxide cleanse. Please choose what you like based on what you want, and take care of her!

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