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Updated: Mar 15

This has been a tough week. Watching yet another black man, Jacob Blake, be shot in

the back seven times was extremely disturbing! I have no clue what happened before

he walked away from the police and attempting to get into his car. Whatever it was, it

doesn’t matter. What I did see was 3-4 officers start to walk behind him while one had a

hand on his shirt, and instead of using a Taser, the officer used his gun to shoot this

man, SEVEN times. This is inexcusable!

Chadwick Boseman

The loss of Chadwick Boseman is tough! What he represented for Black people will be missed. For Black children to see someone on the screen that was

superhero was so positive. Even to hear him speak should make you proud. Also, to be 43 and suffer for four years but keep going is the epitome of resilience. While many of us didn’t know him personally, it is very appropriate to grieve someone who meant so much to our culture. Grief is not a linear process. You don’t lose someone, and then you go through the stages one after another. Grief is an up and down roller coaster that can last your entire life. I lost my grandmother over 12 years ago. She was one of the closest people to me and my first experience of losing a loved one. As I write this, I tear up. I still miss her

daily. Songs, smells, places, sayings, food; all remind me of her. I live my life trying to

make her proud. She instilled so much into me that I don’t want to disappoint her. I

know that she is in heaven smiling from ear to ear as she often did when she was still


Why we grieve people we never met

stages of grief

As for me, I believe in heaven, and I know that I have at least one guardian angel!

Grief comes with a lot of emotions. One of the feelings that sticks out to me is the

feeling of powerlessness. I feel as if I have no control over the loss of people. I don’t like the feeling of not having any power! The continued killing of Black people also leaves me feeling the same at times. It’s like white officers keep killing us with no or minimal consequences. Steve Harvey has discussed behavior changing when the consequence is great enough. I live by this and teach my clients the same. If the consequence isn’t significant enough, the action won’t change. If a person benefits from the behavior and has no reason to change, why would they? For example, if I run a stop sign every day, and I do not get a ticket, and it gets me to work faster, why would I stop running the stop sign? Now, if I get that $300 ticket, I bet you I stop running the stop sign and leave the house earlier. Behavior change! Until there are consistent consequences of the killing of Black people, we will continue to grieve!

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